EP022: The Skipping Rock - Part 3
Transcript is available here
We'll have a follow up conversation with Casey to answer questions and comments. Please submit your thoughts by either filling out our contact form or leaving us a voice message here. By leaving a voicemail you agree to us using your voice on the podcast.
This is the last part of a 3 part episode called The Skipping Rock - We recommend you listen to Part 1 and Part 2 first, which will undoubtedly give greater meaning to the following Parts two and three.
In this 3rd part of Casey’s story, we cover some of the most traumatic events of her life. She admits openly that due to the heavy drug use, trauma, and instability during this time, she has gaps in her memory, making it difficult to connect everything together.
Rather than tell this chapter of Casey's life in a chronological order, as we usually try to do, we’ve decided to bring forward events, or moments, that best express what Casey was going through. As a young woman living homeless, heavily addicted and working in the sex trade, she was just trying to survive. Through these events we will continue to explore the idea of choice.
When we left Casey in the last episode, in Part Two, she was heavily addicted to street drugs, so much so that she was no longer able to dance at the strip clubs. This not only robbed her income, it took away her sense of being in community. Now that that was gone, she was trapped in an increasingly vicious cycle of doing drugs to be able to do the sex work, so she could make the money to pay for the drugs, that she was taking to do the sex work.
Excerpt from the episode: I still had a lot of clientele from the strip club. I had regular customers that were still wanting to see me and still stayed in contact with me. And so I began to make money that way that way by just meeting them in person and going on dates with them. That was working. It was working really well. And I already knew these guys already had like good relationship with them. I trusted them. I knew I was safe and so that really opened up the door for more of career escorting, you could say - Casey
Casey’s organization Light of Love Website and Facebook Page
Casey, Jan 2024
When Casey was working her escorting hussle, she had her regulars providing steady income. On one hand, she often got to stay in these posh high end hotels in downtown Seattle but on the other hand, the work was stressful, unpredictable and sometimes dangerous. The power dynamic was never in Casey's favor.
Excerpt from the episode: I was with my client. He was one of my regulars. I had known him for years. He was married. And he was in the middle of getting a divorce because he was not a good husband. And obviously, he was cheating on his wife. And he wanted me to be his girlfriend, his new wife. And I didn't want that. He had me at Embassy Suites, we were staying there. He was trying to, like, romance me and swilling me into being in a relationship with him. And I said, No. And he was mad that I wouldn't be in a relationship with him. And I said, you know, I'm just gonna go, and we, you know, just give me the money that you owe me. And I'll go, and we'll just be done. And he wouldn't, he wouldn't give me the money because he wanted me to stay. And I was fed up,
I'm not gonna deal with this shit anymore. I'm tired of men, controlling me, and abusing me and manipulating me and using me and forcing me to do things that I don't want to do. I just want to be my own person and make my own decisions and feel the way that I feel. And have the people around me Be okay with it. So as at the end of my rope, I was so fed up with the mistreatment that I had experienced from all the men in my life. And I just I lost it. I say you're gonna give me the money. And I'm gonna go. And if not, you're going to be sorry. And I don't remember what he said. But just some smartass remark of like, what are you going to do.
I just charged him. And I just started punching him and beating him. I was just fighting to be heard. No one valued, what I wanted, or what I had to say, and no one honored the choices that I wanted to make for my life. I was tired of having my voice suppressed, and muted. So I just, you know, I got violent about it. And so he called the cops on me, and the cops came, and I was the one that got arrested. And you know, people don't look at the whole picture. And I don't think law enforcement sees the whole picture. Because when I look at that scenario, I see a victim of a long time of abuse and trauma that needs help, and needs to be heard and needs to be seen and need someone to advocate for her. And a perpetrator that is using and abusing and taking advantage and can hide behind it with his job, with his name with his money with his car and all the things that he has to make him look like an upstanding citizen.
That happened often where I would get arrested for something that I was just trying to survive. The police would never hear my side of the story, because I already had a criminal record. I was addicted to drugs. I had this reputation. We engineer in the system is just like, oh, it's easy to just charge you and they'll believe that you know, you did the thing. I have a lot of charges on my record for things that I did. But there's more to the story than what the charge says. - Casey
Amanda took Casey off the streets, for a while, for long enough. She fed her, and kept her safe, and maybe most importantly, she believed in Casey, she told her to stop treating herself the way she did, with drugs and prostitution, that she was worth more than that. All the while, Amanda kept her hustle going to pay for their survival.
Excerpt from the episode: When I got off the streets, Amanda stayed out there. I would go look for her. Try to get her communally with me. And she was never ready. You know, she would say, I've got a handful of cash in a pocket full of dope. I'm good. The streets are good to me. One day, Amanda called me. She said, Casey, I am eight days off of heroin. And I have nowhere to go and I need your help. And I said, Okay, so I went and picked her up. I was working at a homeless shelter at that time. So she came in, stayed with me at the homeless shelter, and I kind of nursed her back to health.
It was like 10 days later, she started to get really sick. So we took her to the hospital. And they told her that she had stage four lung cancer. She was she was homeless, and she had stage four lung cancer, and she had nowhere to go. And so her and I, we moved in together. And I just, you know, to me, it's hard because she had such an impact in my life in the darkest parts of my life. She was such a bright light. And it's just amazing how we were that for each other. We got to be a pretty light in each other's life when we needed it the most. And so, she had the last month of her life, you know, she was in a wheelchair, she was on oxygen. She was constantly having stays in and out of the hospital and I just took care of her and stayed with her every single day and trying to make the most memories as possible and do as much as we could with with the time that we had when she died. You know, she was think she was happy. -Casey
Casey and Amanda
Casey and Amanda
The community on the streets, like any community, is full of people with diverse experiences, abilities, and convictions. And while street communities, due to the great amount of trauma and need, are often dysfunctional, they are still communities, still a place to find friendship, opportunities, and hard learned lessons. Both Hector and Amanda played defining roles in Casey’s life journey. And while we don’t know their backstory, both undoubtedly were suffering from their own trauma, both coping in radically different ways, with profound influence on those around them.
In Casey’s story, it is unknown what exactly created the opportunity for her to move forward, leaving the drug addiction and sex industry behind. Why was she able to do it while so many others have not?
We know that each person’s journey is unique, both in the circumstances of trauma and the ability to cope. We also know that every person suffering has a greater chance of moving forward in their life when we, in community, see them not for what they are doing, but rather, take the time to see who they are.
And in this moment, of seeing someone for who they are, just as Amanda did for Casey, we provide another option, another opportunity, for moving forward. For the person struggling, and for ourselves.