Rex Hohlbein 0:01

This podcast contains potentially sensitive topics and strong language listener discretion is advised.

Blair 0:11

So growing up, my dad was a builder and a developer, you know, he developed a large portion of the community I grew up in. And so I always, like kind of had an interest in development. Yeah, and part of it was, you know, my dad was like, I'm gonna help you go to school where you're gonna get a degree that's gonna propel you into being a being able to take care of yourself. And so I just was like, you know, business school. It's kind of an overarching thing, right? You can do anything with a business degree. Somehow, I started following facing homelessness on Facebook. One day, there was a post about a guy named Peter and I realized that Peter was the guy that I saw pain handling in my exit all the time. So one day, I rolled down my window, and I was like, Hey, I saw you I'm facing homelessness.

Rex Hohlbein 1:03

I'm Rex Holbein and welcome to you know me now, a podcast conversation that strives to amplify the unheard voices in our community. In these episodes, I want to remind all of our listeners, that the folks who share here, do so with a great deal of vulnerability and courage, they share a common hope that by giving all of us a window into their world, their opening, and increased level of awareness, understanding, and perhaps most importantly, a connection within our own community.

We all have our own unique paths in life. It's a journey, a journey of discovery of when it comes right down to it, of learning about ourselves. And in the process, we are constantly reviewing the path we've already traveled, and wandering in often worrying about the path in front of us. Through it all, we do our best to plan a course of action, we craft a direction that includes our hopes and dreams. But it doesn't always go per plan. Life has a way of throwing curveballs. You can find yourself suddenly taking an unplanned off ramp, journeying down side paths that you had no idea even existed. That's what happened to Blair, a young woman who was on her path as a student at the University of Washington. Yeah,

Blair 2:37

so I grew up in Kirkland on the east side of Seattle. I lived there my whole life until I moved to the city when I was 2526. Yeah, I mean, my first memories are, are good, you know, family trips, we had a boat growing up, I lived a very, you know, privileged, privileged life.

Rex Hohlbein 2:59

What were you excited about growing up like what was give me some of the typical blared dreams and things that you were into, um,

Blair 3:07

well, I played a lot of sports growing up, like every type of sport, soccer, basketball, and I was in aquatic. So I was a diver and a swimmer growing up. So you know, younger thought I was going to be in the WNBA. And then that kind of faded. I worked in aquatics all growing up. So I was a junior lifeguard from the time I was 12 Until I was 15. And then I worked for the city of Kirkland in the city of Bellevue. until I graduated college when I was 27.

Rex Hohlbein 3:35

And you grew up, probably from day one thinking you're going to college. Was that always part of the plan.

Blair 3:41

It wasn't really part of the plan. I hated school, actually, from pretty much from the get. I also suffered from anxiety from like, when I was born, I had really bad separation anxiety from my parents, so I didn't like going to school. I left halfway through my junior year. I also think that revolved around growing up when the opioid crisis started, I have a lot of friends that have passed away due to overdose that I grew up with, like my, you know, high school boyfriend at the time was, you know, using opiates, and my, a lot of my friends were using opiates. And I luckily didn't ever get sucked in to that. But I think just kind of like shit hitting the fan, the beginning of my junior year, so I left Can you

Rex Hohlbein 4:24

explain why you didn't if all your friends including your boyfriend, not all your friends, but a lot of your friends and your boyfriend, especially, we're using opioids, why why not you?

Blair 4:35

I think I just saw what addiction did to people and I didn't want to go down that path. I also my you know, my drug use primarily with cannabis was pretty sporadic at that point. I wasn't drinking a lot. I wasn't smoking a lot. Also, the opiate use was pretty hidden. I would say at that point. It wasn't like an open thing like you would maybe say now with the Fentanyl crisis. So you know, as well as doing opiates, people were doing a lot of ecstasy, drinking a lot smoking a lot of weed. I hung out with the skateboarding community. And that just happened to be like a thing in our friend group. And I just Yeah, I think I just didn't want to go down that path.

Rex Hohlbein 5:20

Over the last several decades, Seattle residents have become increasingly overwhelmed by the issue of homelessness. Just to the east across Lake Washington, the cities of Bellevue, Kirkland and Redmond have seen far fewer visible symptoms of homelessness, although the issue is still there. I wondered how aware Blair was of homelessness while she was growing up in the Kirkland area. So we

Blair 5:44

did have our token, like few homeless people in Kirkland. Growing up, my mom worked for the Kirkland Downtown Association when I was in elementary school. And so there was a, you know, a few people that she knew pretty well, we had a few panhandlers, you know, in Kirkland, you know, I was aware that homelessness existed, but it was on a very, very small scale. And no, there was no actual understanding of how that came to be or why people were living that way. You know, we just had our few people in Kirkland that kind of kept to themselves really just, you know, stay out of trouble. And, you know, we're well known to the community, but

Rex Hohlbein 6:25

it really didn't rise to like the consciousness of people living on the east side to talk about it or it wasn't.

Blair 6:31

No, I would say the homelessness conversation has entered the chat in on the east side in the last five to 10 years. As

Rex Hohlbein 6:41

a youngster, Blair worked as a lifeguard in Kirkland and Bellevue. She was interested in recreational therapy and was heading towards that field. At 17, she started working at the Bellevue Aquatic Center where they had a therapy pool. She learned to work with folks with special needs and disabilities and found it interesting work. I

Blair 7:00

was known as like the teacher that specialized in working with kids with special needs. You know, if we had kids with special needs enrolled in our city programs, like I was the one teaching them some lessons, like I always really enjoyed that part of my job. My path has always been of being of service in some

Rex Hohlbein 7:18

in some way. Where do you think that comes from? I don't know. I

Blair 7:22

think a part of it is like, you know, wanting to fix people, which is not a healthy thing. And then I think, yeah, I just enjoy helping people. I think it's a part of who I am. Blair's

Rex Hohlbein 7:33

father was a developer on the east side, running what was primarily a family business. Despite her interest in aquatics, and potentially going into recreational therapy as a career, she felt the pull towards real estate development and decided to pursue a business degree.

Blair 7:50

So growing up, my dad was a builder and a developer, you know, he developed a large portion of the community I grew up in anywhere from single family homes to like condo developments. But I always looked at my dad, as a really conscientious developer, you know, he would make plans around just saving like trees, so there'd be an old growth tree on a property. And he would, you know, plan where the houses were going to go just to save that tree. And so I think, you know, I was I was just around building my whole life, like, we grew up next to job like, we'd my dad would build a house, we'd move into it, he'd be building the property down the street, right? So I grew up on job sites. A large portion of our family worked for my dad growing up my mom, my cousin's my uncle, you know, that's just how it was like, they'd come over in the morning. And like, you know, it was a very family oriented business. And so I always, like kind of had an interest in development. But it wasn't until I went back to school when I was 22. And decided I wasn't probably going to go to school for what I thought I was going to go to school for. I think I just had fallen out of aquatics a little bit. I started dating my partner, my second year back into school, when I was 23. We met when I was 22, almost 23. And I started coming to the city a lot more. So I was over here, way more at that time, I was living in Redmond. And I just was like, I don't really think that's what I want to go to school for. And so it shifted from that to think I want to go to business school. Yeah, and part of it was, you know, my dad was like, if I'm gonna help you go to school, where you're gonna get a degree that's gonna propel you into being a being able to take care of yourself.

Rex Hohlbein 9:31

So did you have a good conversation with your father about hey, I think I'm gonna go into business and do development. I

Blair 9:38

mean, yeah, it was like, I think an ongoing conversation. My partner is also an entrepreneur. And so I think that I found like, what he was doing interesting. And so I just was like, you know, business school. It's kind of an overarching thing, right? You can do anything with a business degree, while

Rex Hohlbein 9:54

pursuing her business degree at the University of Washington, and visiting her partner living in C Seattle, Blair began to notice those living outside without basic needs being met.

Blair 10:05

I think I understood that affordable housing was becoming less of a thing in Seattle. And so I was like, Yeah, we need, you know, more affordable housing. And so I was kind of geared towards Yeah, like low income, affordable housing. And then, yeah, some things started to shift within me. I'd say like my seat, my junior senior year, I worked at attain had an internship at attain housing, and Kirkland, which is a transitional housing agency for families. So I was like, on the track, but there was definitely some shifts, shifts occurring.

Rex Hohlbein 10:43

When coming into Seattle from the side via the 520. Bridge. Blair would take them on like exit. Yeah, I started

Blair 10:49

coming to, you know, see my partner more regularly in the city. And I would take the Montlake exit, and under the Ballard bridge, at that time, there was a pretty large encampment. And so I just started noticing, you know, our unhoused community more than I had, at

Rex Hohlbein 11:07

about the same time, Blair started to follow the facing homelessness Facebook page, where I was posting stories of people living outside. Somehow

Blair 11:15

I started following facing homelessness on Facebook. I don't know how, you know how I started following in, I don't remember, one day, there was a post about a guy named Peter and I realized that Peter was the guy that I saw pain handling in my exit all the time. So one day, I rolled down my window, and I was like, Hey, I saw you. I'm facing homelessness. And that's what that's what started my journey is my friendship with Peter

Rex Hohlbein 11:44

Blair wasn't aware of it at the time, but by opening yourself to one person struggling through homelessness, she had just made a shift in her life path. It would have profound implications, and probably that shift you weren't aware of yet?

Blair 12:00

No, it was extremely gradual. I had no idea you know, I just, you know, I wouldn't even have probably at that point been like, oh, Peters, my friend. You know, he was just a guy that I gave money to, at my exit or gave food to. And then I started asking, like, what he needed, like, cuz I think most of his posts on Facebook are about getting him books. Yep. Because he always had a book in his hand. Yeah, like, was bringing him sleeping bags and stuff. You know, I would just like post on my own Facebook, like, does anybody have anything? I'm gonna go you know, let

Rex Hohlbein 12:32

me ask you this question before you go on. So the first roll down the window. And hello, right. But at some point, you probably parked your car because you can't win the light. The lights only going for so long. So you must have gotten out of your car. Yeah, tell us Oh.

Blair 12:50

So it eventually went from. So Peter was usually at the eastbound exit at Montlake. What so I would get off and I'd see him and I'd try and like, you know, make the red light. So I could like give him some money or some food.

Rex Hohlbein 13:05

By the way, isn't it? Most people tried to make the green light. Yeah. Trying to make the red light. Yeah,

Blair 13:10

yeah, I would try and like stop at the light. But yeah, you don't hit the light every time right? So eventually, yeah, it was parking my car or like checking in with him seeing if you need anything. Maalik market was open at the time. And so yeah, started getting out of my car and talking to Peter. I think. Luckily for me, Peter was an easy transition into working with our unhoused community because Peter was a gem like he was such he was so soft spoken. So nice. Like he wasn't he wasn't intimidating in any way.

Speaker 1 13:42

I think what you're saying is important that we all have, we all need an easy entry point into this conversation on homelessness, right? Because, in general, homelessness is intimidating and overwhelming.

Blair 13:53

Yes, I agree. I think without Peter, I don't know if I ever would have become friends with James. It kind of happened, I guess, organically. Like, I mean, James was a fixture on the facing homelessness page too. But, you know, my true friendship was with Peter. But sometimes when Peter wasn't there, I would give this stuff to James instead. Yeah, because

Rex Hohlbein 14:14

Peter and James shared the same spot. Yeah, they would actually, that was coordinated. Yep.

Blair 14:19

Motley didn't have a large like homeless community. You know, we kind of had our tokens, and Peter and James were two of them. And so yeah, it just kind of I mean, I think I remember pretty specifically I had a sleeping bag for Peter. He wasn't out. It was cold. I didn't want sleeping bag to go to waste. And so I gave it to James instead. And that kind of started my also helping of James

Rex Hohlbein 14:46

and share a little bit about like, you know, your feelings during that time because you're you're in business school, you're on a path and you're stepping out of a very kind of especially stepping out of, you know, a white girl, white woman, sorry, growing up on the east side, but by and large, that first rolling the window down and reaching out to Peter was was a little bit of a leap. Right. I mean, yeah,

Blair 15:16

I mean I think I've always been. So I think you know, working with our unhoused community at the Bellevue Aquatic Center helped, but then, you know, talking to someone that like comes to your front desk is very different than rolling down your window and chatting with someone and trying to build a friendship. But I do think, you know, it started from like food and money and items to like truly having a friendship with Peter, I would stop and check in on him ask what he needed. Peter really wanted a job. I ended up post, like just posting on a neighborly group and Kirkland. And Peter actually ended up getting a job on the east side, at Safeway. So once Peter got that job, that's when I started interacting more heavily with facing homelessness, because Peter needed like clothes for that job. And so I reached out to facing homelessness, and you guys did a didn't ask to get him, you know, set up for work. And he tried, like, what's so frustrating is, you know, he tried his absolute hardest to make that job work. Like he really wanted to be a productive member of society. Again, which I hate that term, but you know, yeah, it's a term we have. Um, yeah, like he he didn't want to be outside. He wanted to reconnect with his family, like he didn't like the situation he was in. And you know, his downfall into homelessness, I think is more classic than people. Like, you know, he lived in he lived in his car, he was still working, his car got towed, boom, on the streets, right? Because he had no way to get his car out of impound. And I think that is way more prevalent of a story than people think it is. And obviously, a very different story than our friend James. Yeah, Peter was definitely my my segue into things. And that's when my direction at school kind of took a turn. I actually, like shared your TED talk, we had to bring TED talks in once and I brought here my TED talk that I brought was your TED talk. And I got a lot of pushback for my opinions within the business community actually had one other student asked me why I was in business school if I just wanted to work, like if I just wanted to open a nonprofit, in case you didn't know nonprofits or businesses, but I got a lot of pushback for my opinions and got I got in some, like pretty heated, heated arguments around how I felt Peters

Rex Hohlbein 17:38

Job did not last long. And it was a learning opportunity for Blair to dive deeper to better understand how complicated homelessness is,

Blair 17:47

unfortunately, due to what was going on with Peter at the time, which we would, you know, come down the line to learn was, you know, an addiction. He had substance abuse disorder, that it was really hard for him to hold a job now take take substance abuse disorder out of it, he wouldn't have been able to help hold the job anyway. Don't have place to shower, you don't have a place charge your phone to wake up on time. Like there's so many barriers that people that are unhoused experienced employment.

Rex Hohlbein 18:16

Yeah. And I'm gonna jump in and say, I think you are just entering into the whole realm of being in service. And that was blind to you at that point, right. Like now where you're at, you understand a little more about all those barriers. And the reason I want to share that is, I think, the process of people living in homes, being in service to those that are unhoused. It's such a journey of learning really, what and how to navigate the process.

Blair 18:48

Yeah, and I would say even with my personal experience around friends with addiction, I didn't I didn't even know Peter was like, at that time, I had no idea Pierre had substance abuse disorder. You know, he he definitely has like signs of it. Like he had abscesses, he would tell me there were spider bites. I took it at face value, right. So looking back, I'm like, Oh, my God, like, how does what was I thinking? But yeah, I think it was a like a gradual transition. I would say it took like over. I would say it was about a year or two. As

Rex Hohlbein 19:28

Blair was focusing on her schooling, she was also getting more involved with the homeless community. She started to attend the community cleanups that facing homelessness was organizing. She started to make connections with other folks living outside such as James and Michael. Both panhandling at the Montlake off ramp.

Blair 19:47

Really what I think the biggest transition was about a month before I graduated from getting my bachelor's in business. You posted about dreams needing someone to help them navigate the system and I already had a friendship with James and James. You know, he was a hard person to interact with on occasion, you know, you would drive through the Montblanc exit, he'd be flailing he, you know, he'd been bleeding from picking his skin. Like he just had these episodes that I don't think we even know now, necessarily what induced them. And so I said, I don't feel like James should have to get to know another person, I'll do it.

Rex Hohlbein 20:26

Well, Blair would probably not describe this moment, in her journey as heroic or even courageous. It was tremendously. So as a young woman, in her 20s, a month from graduating, she decides to take on the monumental task of helping James find housing, something he had been unable to do. For 40 years. I asked Blair, to tell us how she saw James as a person and why she thought they developed such a deep friendship. James

Blair 20:55

is just with a little white dude from Texas. But James has a different story. You know, he was homeless for 40 years before I helped get him housing and, you know, severely addicted. And it was pretty apparent, right, illiterate, so would beg with his hands didn't fly a sign, which is not, you know, historically is never really a thing. And Seattle, had lived at the Montlake exit for about 25 years at the point where I entered his life. And I don't know what you know, I like look back, and I'm like, whoa, whoa, like, why did we connect the way we did. But James, and I built my most strong and beautiful friendship. And he drastically drastically changed my life, and I miss him so much. It'll be next month, he'll be gone for two years. And those two years ago, I got to have like, a really solid friendship with him drastically, drastically changed my life.

Rex Hohlbein 21:53

I want to just one quick thing before we launch into this, the other thing that I want to share, and I've heard this from many people about James is most people that saw James, they were afraid of him. Yeah, I mean, he, as you had mentioned earlier, he was very, I mean, he was disheveled, and his clothes were always dirty and torn, and his hair and his beard and everything was just a mess. And he had scabs, and but on top of that, often he would do fairly erratic, kind of almost violent, arm waving hand movements. And you really just and you could see him sprawled out on the sidewalk with legs out into the road. And I mean, he he was a, he was a hot mess. Honestly, almost. I would say 80% of the time.

Blair 22:42

Yeah. So I would definitely agree with all of that. I would say he was probably one of the most, you know, frequent on house fires at the Montlake U DUB Montlake hospital. Very well known there. Yeah. Very

Rex Hohlbein 22:57

well taken care of there too. Which, yes, they were a shout out to the U DUB medical team at in the ER there. Yeah.

Blair 23:06

They took care of him. Yeah. And he was a hard case. You know, yeah, there'll be days I couldn't interact with him, for example, the Montlake market, he wasn't allowed to go in there. Like he literally was banned from the Montlake market. But yeah, like incontinent was only bathed when he would be taken to the hospital. Only like, you know, probably had lice,

Rex Hohlbein 23:24

like he lived under the RAM literally in the dirt. Yeah, the ram

Blair 23:29

didn't have wouldn't live in a tent. He would if we brought it to him, but it would like quickly be disheveled and not livable, literally lived under the off ramp of the westbound Maalik exit, and had for a very, very, very long time. When

Rex Hohlbein 23:45

Blair graduates from the University of Washington with her business degree, she does something unexpected and remarkable.

Blair 23:53

So at this point, I had moved to Seattle, I was living with my partner in Ballard. And yeah, I took on James's advocacy right before I graduated. And when I graduated, I just started applying to nonprofits that serve the unhoused community. So I cold call reach one day, which is you know, a great nonprofit in Seattle that serves our unhoused community. And I was like, Hey, I'm an advocate for this guy. I need to know where he's enrolled in services. I think I was just, like, so compassionate about my work with him that the person I talked to was like, Well, I'm gonna tell you where he's enrolled. I don't know who it was. I don't think they were necessarily supposed to do what they were doing. But they told me where he was tiered in Seattle, because there's a system where you can look up where people have enrollment, the HMIs system in Seattle, or in Kane County, and so he was enrolled with at that time the Link program, it doesn't exist anymore. And with the Host Program at DSC

Rex Hohlbein 24:56

God I wonder who got him into that

Blair 24:59

through his arrest So, so it was due to his interactions with SPD and the King County Sheriff's. So I mean, he was well known in the community, right. But he was also well known as someone that was kind of like you couldn't give services to so well

Rex Hohlbein 25:17

when he saw. And you and I both witnessed this a number of times. But when he saw policemen in uniform, right, approaching, his bearings would just go through the roof, and he would instantly become difficult. So he really had been traumatized. And I'm not even saying that the police had done anything wrong when I say that. I'm just saying that interaction always, always raised his level of engagement in a negative way. Yeah.

Blair 25:44

And I think there was even one time during that summer where I called you later at night. And I was like, I just drove by, he's in the street flailing. What do I do? Like, I don't know what to do, because I knew what he was doing was unsafe. But I didn't want to call like 911. And you were like, don't like just don't, he'll figure it out. Like, He'll calm down, he'll get out of the street. Like, don't, he hates being put in an ambulance. He hates interacting with the police.

Rex Hohlbein 26:12

Like, it just makes it worse. When you you were like he's lived his life

Blair 26:15

like this for a very long time. Like, you know, what's your intervention going to do right now? Right? Is it just going to be more traumatizing for him? And so I didn't, and then I went two days later, and he was totally fine. You know, we never figured out what caused these episodes for James. But he would come in and out of them. Right? They wouldn't last forever. He normally wouldn't remember them. We still don't know if they were mentally health induced. If they were drug induced. Like we have no idea because once he actually started receiving services, they they de escalated. So I found out he was enrolling host, and I found out who his case manager was. So I cold call this girl in Savannah on host and I'm like, Hey, I'm James Jobs's advocate, I needed you to actually do stuff for him, because I can't as not being cute, like, I need you to get him housing, like this guy wants to go inside. So she came out and met me one day at Mono Lake. And I introduced you know, her as his case manager. And she was like, so you just like do this, like on a volunteer basis? And I was like, yeah, like, I just come on, hang out with James. And she was like, my programs hiring. And so I applied to work at hosted DSC. Little did I know, James was not like a lot of his clients. I was like, Oh, I work with James Dobbs, I can work with anyone. Well, that was a, I was a misconception, in my mind, because working on host was probably one of the most difficult and rewarding years of my life

Rex Hohlbein 27:50

and explain what you mean by by not typical, like, what's, what's the difference? Um,

Blair 27:55

I mean, most, so host serves the most severely mentally ill people in King County. And there are people that cannot access conventional mental health services. So you are outreaching them to give them their medications. You're a payee, you know, a lot of my clients putting

Rex Hohlbein 28:12

those folks have money, and it's being they get regulated out at a certain stream. So they don't blow it all correct. first four days. So you,

Blair 28:21

yeah, so pay services is one of the services. So they're on usually, you know, social security disability, that is being awarded to DSC and then there is a plan through their payee on how they're a lot of their money to make sure that they like, you know, if you have an EBT card, like what are you going to do? You're probably going to lose it right? So, or someone's going to steal your money. Like, there's just tons of reasons why pays exist, you know, some of my clients, I couldn't hold a conversation with word salad all the time. Some were super erratic. I mean, I just, you know, I had a whole scope of Care Bear, but you know, clients in and out of mental health hospitals, clients in and out of jail, but everything you know, was a scope from like, kind of where James was at to, like, literally clients you couldn't have a conversation with, you are all in between. So you

Rex Hohlbein 29:10

thought I can I can be in service to James and if I can handle that I can handle anything. And then you find out that actually James is on the more functional end of the spectrum, and it gets either however you want to say it worse or more intense as as you went into the job.

Blair 29:27

Yeah. And you know, kind of the joke was at the time and homeless services is, if you can make it on your host a year anyone will hire you.

Rex Hohlbein 29:36

And so we've gone through the wringer. Yeah.

Blair 29:39

You've gone through the wringer. And so it was but it was interesting my position on host because I was James's advocate, but I worked for the program he was enrolled in. And so people would be like, we don't understand this dynamic. And I'm like, Well, I was literally hired on host because of my relationship with James. Yeah, the title just morphed, and I wasn't his case manager. I was his advocate. He had a case manager But I was always speaking in like meetings about him.

Rex Hohlbein 30:05

I can see why that was confusing. Yeah, like there

Blair 30:07

was a social worker at U DUB that was like this doesn't make sense. And like called the supervisors at host, and was like, why is there two women talking to me? How does this girl know all about this? But like she's not.

Rex Hohlbein 30:19

Were they concerned about privacy issues or other? Well, I

Blair 30:22

think it was, yeah, kind of some HIPAA stuff. Like, I don't Yeah, we ever we thought it was an overstep, but whatever. And so, within about six months of working there, James was housed. Yeah, it was one that was the goal of taking on his advocacy, right was to get him get him housing. And the reason James got housed because he was on the brink of death like he was, he was going to die outside. He had been in and out of the hospital quite a few times. And you and I had an interaction with SPD one day because he had been discharged from the hospital. He should have been put in a skilled nursing facility,

Rex Hohlbein 30:57

discharged, left with his hospital gown on Yeah. To the streets

Blair 31:03

like you gave him a 10. We were checking on him every day. Like he stole a wheelchairs, a walker from the hospitals, he was leaving. And I think this is where the house community doesn't understand the barriers that unhoused people face. So James should have been put in a skilled nursing facility for rehab as most people would be, yeah, after a hospital discharge. And due to James's behavioral health issues, and His substance abuse disorder. He was not a candidate, not a candidate for skilled nursing. So he was discharged history because he wanted to be out of the hospital, which was understandable. He'd been there, I think, this time was like a three week stint. But at this point, he was on Suboxone. He was on medicated assisted treatment for his opioid disorder. And he was doing like much he was actually doing much better, but his health was failing, right. So there was one Saturday morning, I went to check on him. So this is kind of where like, being an employee on host, and being his advocate was a weird space because I would check on him on the weekends, James and I would tell each other, we loved each other, like, these were things you don't conventionally do as a case manager. And so I called you one morning and I was like, dude, like, you know, he was completely soiled. Your was freezing, because he was soiled in urine. And so I literally wave down SPD, which is something I never would have done, right. But I knew he needed to go to the crisis Solution Center through GSC with a mobile crisis team, and so the only people that in Seattle that can dispatch mobile crisis are fire and police. And so I waved down SPD, and this officer was telling us, you know, he's like, I've seen them like this 100 times, and we were like, We know you have but this is different, like today is different. He needs to go, he's close to die, he's he's gonna die, he needs to go inside. And so we eventually convinced the officer to call mobile crisis they came out and they did take him. And they put a grave disability affidavit in to have him detained to, you know, put him in the hospital. Because he wasn't going willingly like he got to the CSC. And he couldn't even he was in such poor shape. He couldn't even get his clothes off to bathe. Yeah. So he was out of their scope of care. Basically, he ended up an NG so against medical advice, leaving the CSC. And I want to say it was maybe two weeks later, we got him into housing. But he wasn't like it was touch and go there. For those two weeks. There was a they're called Safe Haven units. So there are people that have no documentation. So because James had been homeless since he was 1515. No, Id couldn't get him an ID because he didn't go to high school. Like you just couldn't get him his documents that he needed. We did have a birth certificate, which facing homelessness, had acquired through some other lady's help a few years prior, and

Rex Hohlbein 34:11

we actually you found his family.

Blair 34:15

And we had a next of kin document. So I just asked my dad to like, look into the names that were on the next of kin. And my dad found his sister in Tyler, Texas. So I sent a letter to an address in hopes that maybe we will reconnect with his family hadn't spoken to his family in about 25 years. And I got a call from a woman crying a week later. So his sister Rebecca Becky, called me and was like he's alive. Like, you know, they all just thought he was dead. So I went down to Montlake and we called Becky for the first time and he talked to Becky once a week till the week he passed away

Rex Hohlbein 35:01

He was a spunky guy at 50. You know what, five when he died or 54? Yeah, he had a twinkle in his eye. There's no doubt right like he was a charmer. When he was in his good space. He was funny and he was a charmer.

Blair 35:15

Yeah, he, I think it made I think like our relationship made some people uncomfortable because, like me and James genuinely loved each other. He you know, genuinely like one of the people I cared about most of my life. And I think one of my other favorite stories is he was he was a deadhead. He followed the Grateful Dead up and down the West Coast like, and when he was in the hospital passing away. His hospice nurses had told his day nurse that he was a dead head, and she left her phone on his pillow playing Grateful Dead the last couple of days that he was alive. And we all wore Grateful Dead shirts to his memorial Memorial and seeing him come out of that really, really deep substance use. By the time he was housed, he was on Suboxone, he wasn't using Street opiates anymore. And it was really beautiful to see him. I mean, someone that had been addicted for almost their entire life come out of that, due to harm reduction, you know, was really, really cool. You know,

Rex Hohlbein 36:23

one of the things that I remember you sharing with me, and I've seen the opposite so many times is that when people that have been chronically homeless move inside, that transition is extremely difficult, like people will get a room and still stay at the park or get a room but sleep on the floor, or they have to leave all the windows open, or they're just these really quirky things that are counterintuitive. You would think, Oh my God, you've got to bed for the first time in 25 years and you're not sleeping in it. Right. But that transition is that change is really difficult describe James's process.

Blair 36:59

I mean, almost seamless, right? Like it was we were all really worried about it. We were really worried he was gonna go to Montlake all the time, and like he wasn't gonna stay inside. James never stayed outside a day again. After he had his housing. We got his apartment furnished by donations. He's really wanted a TV. I took him grocery shopping and couple times and he like loved to make fajitas I have a picture of him like buying cilantro on my phone, which would like just cracked me up. But yeah, like, you know, how does little princess and the pea bed because he got gotten multiple mattresses donated and he like, just stacked him up on his little twin bed frame. And he had like a, you know, nice couch and I was also really worried his apartment would be really dirty. And it like it was one of the cleanest apartments I would go in. You know, his incontinence was a really, really big issue. When he lived outside. I used to try and address it with him when he lived outside. He would just be like, I'm an old man Blair leave me alone. I'd be like, never incontinent again. After he moved inside. We later figured out it was like a defense mechanism. So people would leave him alone. Because James had historically been beat up quite a few times when he lived outside. So yeah, we figured out like it was just a defense mechanism. I made him promise me when he moved inside, he would bathe. Yeah. And he he kept that promise.

Rex Hohlbein 38:27

I think I saw them. I think you you call me up and I came down to visit maybe the second or third day after he moved in and, and he had shaved and showered, took a picture of him against the back wall in the alley there. And he was just radiating. It was so beautiful.

Blair 38:45

But yeah, like I think it was a second or third day he moved in and he I went to check on him. And he's like black, I didn't clippers and he made me shave his head and shave his beard and got all cleaned up. I mean, you would think for someone that had been outside for 40 years that he never would have lived the way he did. Inside, you know, some moment of it. No, he you know, and he was there for like almost 18 months.

Rex Hohlbein 39:12

So tell me how, tell me those last days for for James.

Blair 39:17

So what initially led to James's decline health wise as he had a stroke in November of 2021. And so he had a stroke. He was found in his apartment like, unconscious that I got a call. You know, he was at Montlake he was there for a signal. Two

Rex Hohlbein 39:39

months, two months. When you say more like you mean the hospital the

Blair 39:43

Yeah, so he was always taking you to Montlake because that's where he'd been a frequent flyer. So he was taken there and it actually the stroke had paralyzed half of his body. And so that kind of started a decline that stroke so he He was put on hospice, he got a caregiver, his caregiver was a saint. So he had, you know, five days of care a week. And he lived at home for another six months. You know, just smoking cigarettes and joints. bedridden, kept talking about how he was going to get a motorized wheelchair and we were all terrified that he was going to convince someone that that was a good idea, because we were like, he cannot be out in the streets like this. And then yeah, I got a call, you know, that he was unconscious, and that, you know, they there wasn't as he couldn't be on home hospice anymore, he needed to go to the hospital, and then he he was at Yuda Montlake, for probably four to four days to a week, I was gonna say maybe a week unconscious, you and I were there. Actually, the last time he had like a more lucid episode. He was trying to climb out of bed and was talking to us. And then two days later, he, he passed away. Yeah. But I'm just, you know, it was obviously extremely difficult to lose him, but the care that he received the last two years of his life were so beautiful. And you know, after he had passed away, like, at a doctor that had worked at Yuda, Montlake with him, like, flew out from Philadelphia, showed up at corner, Scott, like, found out from Dennis about the funeral and came to the funeral and spoke like he, you know, for as rough and tumble as a man he was he touched, he touched a lot of people. And it was really cool to see the community that had helped him like over the years come together. And then yeah, we had a funeral. And then last year, we spread his ashes. A

Rex Hohlbein 41:57

couple things that I want to just remark on. One is, again, I'm just so amazed by the journey that you went through as a young woman, pretty brave, pretty beautiful. And amazing, right. And I hope that the way this is being captured, people can feel that, like, and, and I want to say, and I believe this so much that that's available for everyone. You know, and it's and I think the difference is that you just acted on it. You just lowered the window and began. Right. And I, you know, I think that's how it's enriched your life, for your interest to help. Peter and eventually, James, you know, ended up helping you even more. That's, that's the special sauce of it all that I wish everyone knew, right? Yeah,

Blair 42:48

it, it changed my life in such a drastic, beautiful way. So I went and worked for you know, hosted DSC for a year. And that was like an amazing life changing experience. And then I went and worked for the LEED program at reach for another 18 months. And you know, I still have relationships with, you know, people I met while working with people that are unhoused. And those relationships are really, really, really important to me. But it I mean, it changed, it changed who I was right. And I think, I guess we haven't touched on it. But James and I shared a love for cannabis. I think it's one of the reasons we got along so well. But, you know, nine months after James passed away, I decided to get sober. And I've been sober for about 14 and a half months. And so I think my relation, you know, I'm a diehard harm reductionist. I believe in harm reduction wholeheartedly, but being sober has also changed my perspective. You know, I don't believe that abstinence works for everyone. It definitely didn't work for James, but I'm gonna

Rex Hohlbein 44:02

interrupt you and just say, can you explain for those that don't understand what harm reduction is in in a, in your, in your definitional view of that term? So

Blair 44:11

harm reduction for me is helping people people meet their goals without addressing necessarily their substance use disorder. So if that's giving, you know, for James, it was, you know, when he was living outside, he needed clean needles and Narcan. And, you know, when, or giving people pipes to use or you know, just like those types of things, also, you know, meeting their medical needs without addressing their substance use. Harm reduction in Seattle is a hot topic right now. A lot of people don't believe in it. They look at it as enabling. I wouldn't I wholeheartedly disagree with that. It's keeping people in a place where they're using in a safer manner until they make different choices if they choose to make different choices. And

Rex Hohlbein 45:04

the underlying belief is that when people are getting their needs met, and I mean needs met in general, then they're in a much better place to address some of the harmful things that they're doing to themselves.

Blair 45:17

Yes. And I will also say, from working with our unhoused community in the way that I have, if I lived outside, I would be an active addiction. And I would not just be an active addiction with cannabis, I would be an active addiction with harder drugs. The trauma that you endure, as living someone unhoused is something that unless you've lived on housed, you will never understand the secondary trauma that I endured by being in homeless services was something that contributed greatly to my use skyrocketing when I was in homeless services. And why I had to take a step back to get sober. You know, we've talked about it a little bit before people that think that people live outside as a choice is so such a misconception of our unhoused community. It's sad, something uninformed. Yeah, no one chooses to live outside. And like I said earlier, even if you're severely mentally ill and like, can't live inside. That's not a choice that's due to trauma, and mental illness. And so, you know, I have a different viewpoint on like, now that I'm sober myself, and I work a Buddhist recovery program. I have, you know, my mindset has changed on a lot of things. And I reflect on my time as a case manager and wonder if I could have done things with better boundaries and more compassion. But it's definitely changed my perspective. I will, and it's hard to hold be, you know, like diehard harm reductionist and also working like an abstinence based program. Those are, those are those are hard things to they, you know, they conflict or they some way they

Rex Hohlbein 46:54

is that conflict, though manage with the knowledge that each person has a different path. Yes.

Blair 46:59

So I don't believe in abstinence works for everyone. I think the problem with the Fentanyl crisis is unless you choose to work in harm reduction track, you're not going to live forever, right? There was heroin addicts that could live a really, really long time. Fentanyl is a different ballgame. And that's not the case. It's seeming to be

Rex Hohlbein 47:20

No, I want to make sure I got this right. Are you still saying that harm reduction? Is is the process even with fentanyl? Are you saying fentanyl is really challenging the harm reduction? Mod?

Blair 47:33

No, I think harm reduction is definitely still a thing with fentanyl. I just don't think you know you can be necessarily an old fentanyl addict anymore. You're not gonna live doing fentanyl for years and years and years like you could different you know, opiates fentanyl has changed the drug world completely.

Rex Hohlbein 47:52

And should that has that changed how harm reduction moves forward, like being that what worked with maybe heroin or other drugs was that they had there was time to allow the needs to be met, and then the person to find that journey to recovery on their own, you know, in their on their own terms? And I'm expecting the answer to be No, because I think the principles of harm reduction are still correct and true. But the cruel reality is that the time available for that to unfold might not be there for a lot of folks that are addicted to fentanyl.

Blair 48:30

Yeah, exactly. So I think that harm reduction has not changed, the methods of harm reduction have changed. So, for example, people are not using IV drug use as much as they used to. Fentanyl is smoked on foil, right. So people are trying to create foil like pipes for fentanyl. So people don't have to smoke it on foil. Harm reduction has grown to many things since then, you know, street outreach, wound care, you know, bringing safe use supplies to people, safe consumption sites like those types of things or harm reduction. And so I think harm reduction is ever ever changing and needs to be it needs to follow what the drug trends are.

Rex Hohlbein 49:12

Yeah, but always seeing the person. Right. I mean, that's the I think that focusing on the person as opposed to the the the addict

Blair 49:22

correct. The you know, every I think, you know, my biggest thing that I learned through facing homelessness and the nonprofits I chose to work for is you meet people where they're at, and you don't have expectations for them and you like it's based on their goals and what they think is best for them and you just have to meet people where they're at and I think there's organizations that don't believe in that right. They believe that like harm reduction is enabling and Housing First, you know, people need to get sober before they deserve housing and all these things and those are just not principles I live by. You know, I believe that you can't get sober if you live outside. You can I think it's very very difficult, you have to be a very, very, very strong person. I never addressed substance use disorder with my clients when I was working in homeless services because I didn't feel it was right. Well,

Rex Hohlbein 50:12

you also slip into and I think you were beginning to talk about this early on, that when you're in service to others, you have to be very careful not to create a hierarchy. And if you begin to judge somebody's drug use you right away, slip step into the powerplay move, which is, I'm not addicted you are you need help, you're less and I'm going to give you some advice about that. And, and there you go. You're off to the races. Who

Blair 50:39

was I to judge my clients with substance abuse disorder when I was when I had substance abuse disorder myself, right.

Rex Hohlbein 50:46

And that's another whole conversation, right? Because who doesn't have some sort of addiction? We live in a we live in a self medicating society. And everyone has a drug of choice. Yeah, I shouldn't say everyone, but but we're talking about foods, cigarettes. Porn. I mean, there's, there is no shortage of things that people find themselves addicted to.

Blair 51:06

Yeah, so the program that the Buddhist recovery program that I work, addresses, process addictions, as well. So it's not just for substance abuse disorder, it's for process addictions. And I think, you know, process addictions are prevalent in people with substance abuse disorder, I definitely have process addictions and

Rex Hohlbein 51:25

defined process, addictions for us, gambling,

Blair 51:28

porn, you know, like, anything that creates dopamine, right, overeating under eating. So I think that, you know, like, everyone, you know, I have a process addiction in my phone, right? Like people have process addictions and social media computers, like there you can name hundreds of process addictions, right? And so

Rex Hohlbein 51:52

will dopamine, as you said, like, makes us hunt for those kids. Maybe that's another whole talk. You know, I think people listening to this will say, Wow, this suburban white girl who's got an education as attractive is like, got the world on a string. And she's, like, found this amazing love with this person that was actually out on the street, like one of one of the more important people in your life, clearly. Yeah, I How do you explain that? Yeah.

Blair 52:21

I mean, I, yeah, I mean, I would definitely say my relationship with James was, and my friendship with him was my most life changing friendship. Again, I get choked up thinking about it, because I just, yeah, the love we shared was just so like, natural and real. And I think that anyone is capable of it. Right? I think you have to meet the person where they're at. You have to see them as a human. You have to look past their flaws and their scariness maybe sometimes and really embrace who they are. I don't look at my friendship with James is different than any other friendship I have, except for the fact that it changed my life, right? I deeply care about all of my friends, the way I cared about James. They're just not unhoused. Right. Like, there's, there's the difference, right. And I think you just have to embrace people as they are. I didn't connect with all my clients, the way that I connected with James, but I connected with a few of them the way I connected with James, and they're people that I truly love. And I think you just have to let down like you got to get rid of those stigmas. And you've got to just look at people for who for who they are, you know, the

Rex Hohlbein 53:39

the episode that we just released on Reverend Rick Reynolds. He said something that, I think speaks into what what you're talking about. And he, he asked, you know, are you willing, right, that I'm not even asking you to do anything? Are you just willing to do something? Are you willing to be open? And I think that's a profound call, right? Like, because we're all pretty guarded when it comes to being open to a friendship with someone that's homeless. Right. That's, that's, that's a little out of bounds. And then let alone actually really love this person. That's a That's a tall order. Yeah. And

Blair 54:17

I think, you know, I'm blessed in the fact that I met a lot of my unhoused friends pre going into homeless services through you, and I got to see how you had friendships with people that lived outside. And I think everyone is capable of that, but you have to be open to it. Like you said, you have to be willing, you know, there's plenty of ways to do it, too. Right. Yeah. And

Rex Hohlbein 54:41

I think the beautiful thing I've thought about this a lot about actually the interaction with the homeless community and and that the simple question, are you willing to ask yourself that are you willing? And if your answer is no, then that's another that's an entry into another conversation which is Why not? Yep? Like, what do I have going on in my life? That is keeping me from being willing to have a friendship with someone that suffering outside without basic needs being met, like, Kate, something's going on inside of me. Because that's, I think, contrary to our human nature, which is as someone who's struggling to reach out to them, and be in service to them, you know, to see ourselves in them and to know that, you know, this deeper sense of what empathy and action looks

Blair 55:27

like. Yeah. And I think that you can come from any background, any political belief, any religious belief, and you, you can be willing, you can be willing without believing in harm reduction. Do I believe everyone should believe in harm reduction? Hell, yeah. But we're, you know, like, not everyone's gonna believe in the in those principles. And so I think, lots of paths to the top, there's lots, there's lots of paths. Exactly. And I think, finding, finding your outlet whether that's just like, being more compassionate to the person panhandling at your exit, just like rolling down your window and saying, Hi, which is like, you know, was the Just Say, Hello campaign, like, just recognizing that person as a person to, you know, building a friendship with the guy that lives in the tent down the street and going and asking, like, Hey, my name is Bob ball, what's your name? Like? Is there anything I can do to help you? But I think the barrier to people that are housed helping the unhoused is what has create the created the unhoused, right? Like it, it's not the unhoused people's problem to solve it is the house people's problem, I would agree with that. 100, to solve, right. And to put it on, like churches and homeless services like this problems, not going to be solved without more substance abuse disorder, treatment, more mental health treatment, better services, meeting people's basic needs. You know, I'm a firm believer in like, if people's basic needs are not being met, what can you really expect of

Rex Hohlbein 57:02

if then we are part of the problem, then therefore, we have to be part of the solution. Right? Like, it's incumbent on us, like, if we know that we're actually part of why this is all unfolding, then we have to take the steps to, to, to, you know, erase that. Yeah. But if we're, if we're in the way of that, because of our negative stereotype views, or the way that we're conducting our life in any way that brings a barrier to those that are outside, we have to look at that and see, is that what we want to do? You know that who we want to be?

Blair 57:34

Yeah, it's actually been studied that housing people is far cheaper than what we're doing right now. So if you don't believe in housing first, then I would suggest looking into some studies that prove providing housing to someone and keeping them housed is actually far, far cheaper than the methods that we are using right now.

Rex Hohlbein 57:53

If the doing the right thing isn't actually working for you, economically, if that's your focus, then that's also about to go. Yeah, it's to give people housing. Exactly.

Blair 58:03

Yeah. And I think it's really sad that there's this really big push right now in Seattle against harm reduction and against Housing First, by certain individuals, because it's been proven so many times, like, we don't need to study homelessness anymore. We've studied it enough. We know what solves homelessness, it's Housing First, harm reduction, meeting people where they're at, like, these are the it's all proven, right? mental health treatment. And in case you're wondering, mental health treatment in Washington state is extremely hard to receive and our mental health hospitals are full. Like, if you think someone just needs to go to a mental health hospital, well, you know, find him a bed, find them a bed like and I think that's also the disconnect, from the house community to the unhoused communities are like, well, they just need to go to treatment, they need to go to mental health hospital, do you know how long it takes to get a treatment, but if you're homeless, because it's on average, at least a month. So when someone is wants to go to detox and wants to go to treatment, if it's going to take them another month to get there for one, they might not be alive in a month or two, they might not be wanting to make those same decisions, right. And so I just don't think we have so many talking points by certain people that are against the principles that are actually helping people that my hope would be that people are more open to understanding why Housing First is such a big principle and why harm reduction is such a big principle because people that do the work, understand that that's actually

Rex Hohlbein 59:34

what helps well, it always happens. The closer you get, you know, the more you understand, and the and the more informed you are. And I would even say you I mean you would probably agree even from when you first started helping Peter and James versus what you know now right just because you got closer you know, that's so

Blair 59:52

my life principles are very, very, very different than they were four years ago. That's for sure.

Rex Hohlbein 59:58

What's next for you?

Blair 59:59

Nah, I'm not totally sure. So I left homeless services a little over a year ago to get sober. And I didn't get sober because I like wanted to quit using sober because I wanted to eventually start a family and I knew I didn't want to, like be a pothead mom. Sometimes, you know it takes you getting sober for someone else. I nanny part time right now, I just got a second job working part time as an office manager for criminal defense attorney. So I want you know, I'm gonna learn a little bit about social justice world in a different in a different realm. But I think you know, my my goals around you know, my goals are to continue to work in social justice and working with our unhoused neighbors. But I think you know, starting a family first is my is my main my main goal right now.

Rex Hohlbein 1:00:53

Often, when we see someone reaching out to be of service to someone in need, we can think that that's all that is happening that a need is being met. And to be sure that is happening. And it is important and beautiful. But what is often missed is that in those moments, both people are benefiting. Blair helped James get into housing and have basic needs met, she helped reconnect him with family, and maybe most of all, feel loved in the last few years of his life. And James, what he did for Blair, was to change her life, he helped her take an off ramp from the path she was on. And in the process, she found her voice and her purpose in life. In talking with Blair, you can hear it in her voice. She wants all of us to take our own off ramp to learn that when you come closer to someone struggling, you will find that homelessness is unacceptable in our society.

Blair 1:01:54

You know, we as a society have created that homelessness is acceptable. It you know and then there are certain people in our society that don't believe that. And I think if we as a whole society didn't believe that people living outside is acceptable. Homelessness wouldn't be acceptable. Nobody was like

Rex Hohlbein 1:02:23

you know me now is produced, written and edited by Tomas Vernadsky. And me Rex Holbein. We would like to thank Blair for taking the time to speak with us. You know, me now has a Facebook and Instagram page where you can join in on the conversation. We also have a website at eunomia now.com where you can see photos of Peter, James and Blair. We also have stories of other folks we feel you should get to know. Thanks as always for listening