Rex Hohlbein 0:00

This podcast contains potentially sensitive topics drug use and strong language listener Discretion is Advised

Could you talk about going through some ups and downs emotionally? Can you talk a little bit about like what music does for you during those times? Like Like if you're super if you're up for if you're down like do you turn to music moments

Doc 0:30

there's a song out there that seems like a speaks to every emotion and every mood that you might be on there's some type of song that fits it and for me I've got all kinds of playlists on my phone and it's all in all just fits the mood or the state of mind I might be in and so yeah, there's music that can lift me up and there's music that I might be down and out but you know it speaks to my situation and kind of called through it

Unknown Speaker 1:02

Mary man dressed in black

Speaker 1 1:08

Hello she broke a needle and she don't

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know how to do it

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that's my mom was 15

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back into the formula

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if you don't know how to do it, I'll show you how to do

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now Bear Mountain why you should know long country

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remains old in a row

Speaker 1 2:25

how to do and show you how to go just

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just a walk in show you how to

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just show you how to bow to YouTube.

Rex Hohlbein 3:11

I'm Rex Holbein and welcome to you know me now a podcast conversation that strives to amplify the unheard voices in our community. In these episodes, I want to remind our listeners that the folks who share here do so with a great deal of vulnerability and courage. They share a common hope that by giving us a window into their world, they're opening an increased level of awareness, understanding, and, perhaps most importantly, a connection within our own community.

Personal relationships can be thought of as the foundational supports of a healthy community by simply getting to know each other, being exposed to different life experiences and views. we broaden ourselves and deepen our ability to empathize within the community. While we know this to be true, society appears to be increasingly slipping into polarized camps. We find ourselves in echo chambers, ones where there is little room for opposing views. This is happening at all political levels, and around nearly every important issue. And while echo chambers are a form of immediate gratification, which is of course an instant feel good. They are an unhealthy environment for all of us. The good news is we can easily do something about this. Starting today, right now. We can work to be more open with each other, to courageously be willing to hear and respect different views, lifestyles, beliefs and choices, especially from people outside our circle. It begins when we just say hello and with that I'm honored to have this discussion with preacher

Doc 5:02

because I come from a family of musicians and an artist I'm the next generation so there I am I gotta keep the tradition alive first started playing music with my grandfather. I don't know what his idea was if he's a start a family blues band or what but he bought a couple guitars and a bass and yet this guy came over his name has now taught me here but he come by the house once or twice a week show us two basic rhythms with blues and stuff like that and he's like I took one lesson and that was it you know and off I went and next thing you know here I am against one of the first ones I learned was a got my mojo working by Muddy Waters

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just

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goodbye mucho

Doc 6:21

don't know what

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batteries GMC

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you

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baby just don't work on you

Doc 7:17

music music became part of my life. It started from when I was just a little baby, really, because music has always been there has been a part of my life. As far as me planning and becoming more of more than a listener and more of an enjoyer of the music that happened later on in life when I was able to really understand the lyrics and stuff like that. When I was younger, there were certain things that I didn't understand really understand about the music. You know, there's what they call it double entendre reasons being status and really being said, you know, there's certain blue songs are my grandma, my grandfather, and a lot of my family, they get tickled because I knew I knew the words to him, but and they knew that I didn't know what they really talking about. So and I got shut up a couple of times, you don't have to sing that song, you know, people are hearing something else. Exactly. And so that's just kind of blossomed from there. And then as I grew older, I finally picked up an instrument. The first instrument I played was bass guitar, I was first instrument ever played, and played that for a while. And then when I decided I was going to start playing, playing out on the streets and playing shows, stuff like that. So when I'd sit in credit, I'll do something that fills the void a little bit more than just playing the bass and I picked up the guitar and I started playing that, you know, without any lessons really. I just figured okay, notes turn into chords. And so let's put these three notes together and it makes a chord let me find it three notes on a guitar with a close together and boom, I got my cord. And then one thing then here I am just playing a scene, you know, Blues and Gospel or whatever you guess what got me motivated more into playing music was when my late pastor's wife, she told my mom to help me bring my bass to choir rehearsal one night, and ever since then, you know, I've been at it playing music. He's out there doing doing my thing.

Rex Hohlbein 9:04

Did you know already at that time that you had a beautiful voice? No,

Doc 9:08

I didn't think I could sing it all. You know, how did you discover your voice? Just by watching people and then their enjoyment of it not turning a frown or turn away from me like oh, yeah, I'm not listening to this. This sounds like to catch going at it. I'm not listening. You know? That's one thing that made me realize that my voice was was all right

Unknown Speaker 9:41

I love it. I love

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it The Devil

Doc 10:48

stuff like that or my my slow down a little bit my play this other song when I that when I got sick I had a terminal brain injury, brain illness and doctor said I wasn't supposed to be living this long I should have been going back in 2019 2020 But I'm still here but when I first diagnosis first came down I was listening to a song by Howlin Wolf I think I don't think it's original writer but But I suppose the version I heard was called going down slow and he was and it's the same thing and he was talking about same thing he because he felt like because he knew that he was dying he had kidney disease and so he knew he was dying and he and he sang a song called going down slow

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my phone

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ever never again well know

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if I never again will know

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where am I heavens failing Oh my

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Lord you know going down slow

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me try my mother

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me Why don't you

Unknown Speaker 12:31

read my mother

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Shiva me

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brave brave.

Unknown Speaker 12:44

Lot, I forgive me for all.

Doc 12:54

And I kind of related to that song because I felt like I was going down slow because it was Jonas was killing me slowly, you know, at least I felt it was. But I should have known better because there's a man upstairs who had a greater plan for me. And that's the reason why I'm here. And I think God has kept me here because there's been many. Because I wasn't I wasn't ready to go clear the things that I had to do. Because even at that time, I was stuck in my drug addiction. And so that's the other thing that I felt like that was killing me what I knew it was killing me. You don't have been long run it would have killed me if I'd if I'd have stayed in it. Just of all the craziness that I went through and I'd done and the stupidity of it all, you know, so it's just like, here I am. And I'm grateful for

Rex Hohlbein 13:38

when I first met preacher, he was living in a tent with his partner along the Ship Canal in the Fremont neighborhood. He had just been released from jail several hours earlier. And his smile was still a mile wide because of it. Being invited into their tent. One of the first things I noticed was how meticulously organized and beautiful everything was, including the tapestries and little battery operated string lights hanging from the ceiling. It was not at all what I expected. While sitting there, taking in how they had made this tent, a home preacher picked up his guitar and began singing a song he had written while in jail. It stopped me with how beautiful his voice was. I remember having a moment of really looking at him closer as a gay black man just had a jail, living homeless with nothing. I couldn't imagine how he had been able to move through so many barriers. Feature. High School is a tough time for everybody, right? I know like for me soccer. Got me through it. Like I could just block everything out and I could just focus on soccer and then the rest of the craziness didn't seem to touch me. Can you tell us a little bit about your high school years like like was music a part of that? Do you can you can you share a Uh, you know, your feelings from that time?

Doc 15:03

Well, music it really wasn't, as far as me plan goes wasn't really a big thing for me in high school, I was more of listening to music at that time. You know, during high school years, I just kind of Christmasy, I kind of took a brief hiatus. from it all. Outside of outside of church, you know, church was my main thing. I was mainly playing bass while I was in church. But as far as being honest, being out and playing in clubs and stuff like that, that didn't come along until after long after high school, really. But the music that I listened to definitely helped me through high school through those tough times. There's not really too much I can remember about high school, to be honest with you about everything is kind of a blur. And seemed like it happened so quick. I know. And also during that time, is when I wasn't going to car wrecks exactly three or six months apart from each other. And I had a brain contusion, which messed with my short term memory. That's the first thing I missed my search for memory. And I also had to learn how to walk and everything was like that, during that timeframe. And so that was a that was a tough go for me, because I couldn't go to a regular high school because I couldn't focus, having six periods, you know, a day and I couldn't, I couldn't really move around from classroom to classroom. So

Rex Hohlbein 16:16

music got you through high school and a bit, but more as a listener, and it sounds like maybe beginning kind of foundational stuff for you, right? Or on? And when did like, how old? Were you? And can you remember that moment? When when you really kind of looked around and said, Hmm, I'm I'm really going to, I'm really going to just make a run at it with music. That's going to be my thing. Did that was there a moment or did that just slowly evolve for you?

Doc 16:42

It just kind of slowly evolved, but I was in my early 20s Because it was matter of fact, I was had to be a week before my birth my 21st birthday. I went to the Blue Moon Tavern on open mic night, kind of snuck off been there. You know, nobody asked my age and carbon and nothing. And when I had my suit and tie on and everything's like that in the dive bar, but that's what the blues musicians did. You know, you look good for what you do. And somebody questioned me for about an hour went in the next week, and no, no problems. I'll play it for almost a month before anybody find asking for my ID or anything like that. It's a different bouncer at the door. He finally asked me for my ID on a Wednesday night, definitely out there overnight. And I met a lot of a lot of good people through there who helped Help Help me blossom and carry me and show me a lot of different different angles and how to handle things on the road, so to speak. Yeah.

Rex Hohlbein 17:29

Well, you joined a long line of musicians that kind of walk through the Blue Moon as part of their journey. Yeah, that's a that's a classic spot in Seattle. Yeah. And how long did you play at the Blue Moon,

Doc 17:40

about there two or three years, something like that. And then branched off from there and just started doing my own thing. I played at the I played at the highway 99 blues club. I played there once or twice, a triple door a couple times, just on a small stage. The New Orleans Creole cafe, the central saloon, the GNN. The Yen war tavern over in West Seattle, with Lonely Island Blues Festival, just the Bight of Seattle. That's about all I can remember right now. It's a lot, but I'm pretty sure that the list was a little bit longer than that. You got around. Yeah, I played I played over Leavenworth for their their Blues Festival, the handle there? You know. So yeah, definitely. It's been a fun time.

Rex Hohlbein 18:21

And that that involved the same band as in group, or were you solo or what did that look like?

Doc 18:27

In the early years, it's just, it's just a duo do me and my good friend sleepy Joe Rodriguez. She's dramatical player. So there's just two of us for years. And then then he, he discovered my father and blues. That's what I call him. Eric Freeman. He took me under his wing and showed me a lot of different things. And because he's played all around the world, John, John Jackson, which is a Piedmont blues, professional, Pete, my blues player, taught him how to play. So he actually showed me a few things. And so and then we kind of slowly started putting his piece and his band together between the three of us. And

Rex Hohlbein 19:02

what were you thinking during that time? Like the sky? There? The sky's the limit? Yeah, I'm going on up.

Doc 19:07

Right. That was that was that was that was the plan. And then I don't know what it was just it was Max. I was the youngest one in the band and was the band leader. What but there's a whole lot of I don't know what the word is, I don't want to say sabotaged. It wasn't really new sabotage going on. But it was just like a whole lot of things that weren't to my liking that were happening. Well, the start of the fall was when we was over in eastern Washington, and was getting ready to play I think was getting ready to play at Wally's house. Yeah. Which was house of booze at night. And it was hot. And I told I tell everybody, I said, Okay, I want you to wear your slacks and your button downs, you know, and, and so a couple people there was just too hot to wear that did it and those type of things that upset me, but my father believes just say, let them talk. Just let him just leave it alone. Let him be. And so him and I we showed up three pieces that night. Y'all want to see us huddle. We're gonna show you how we really do it, you know, and my harmonica player and my bass player, they both showed up in shorts and tank tops that upset me. So bad was up in the greenroom. And I don't know. And so my dad, he told me to go and I said, just go downstairs and have your drink. He just said, I'll handle it. When they came downstairs, they were there was a uniform. So I don't know what to he said to them to this day. I know he said to him, but he wasn't uniform. So but but that whole, they got in line, they got in line, but that whole confrontation, there was kind of the beginning of the end. And so and then one of the band members, he wound up going to jail. And so that that broke off broke us off for a while. And we're still trying to carry on, but it just wasn't the same.

Rex Hohlbein 20:39

So and then, after that breakup, what how did you handle it? What did you end up doing?

Doc 20:46

I tried to do my solo thing, but it just wasn't the same for me. And then I got hooked up in a bad relationship. Yeah, it was bad relationship, because it led me down to rule rule to hardcore drugs and stuff like that. And I kind of put my musical cannot kind I did put my music on hold, because I was just so wrapped up in that. And, but, but after a while, I guess, when things got tough, and I'm okay, I need to make some money. We'll go back to when two backpacks play my guitar busking on the streets. And so I supported myself for, I don't know, three, four, maybe five years, something like that on the streets. You know, this is prior to being homeless. This is this is when I came homeless became homeless. Yeah. Yeah. Because the relationship I was in that's reason why I became homeless. And it was a, it was a choice. Because my grandma grandparents and my family, my family told me choose him and me, or him, him or us and, and I wasn't just gonna leave him out in the woods because he had no place to go. So I wasn't gonna throw him out in the world to the wolves knowing he had never been out there before and didn't know anything. So I didn't know much, but I at least had an inkling of what was happening. So

Rex Hohlbein 21:52

And where would you Bosque, I'm curious. We we've played

Doc 21:55

I played downtown Seattle, just all over the place. And then once I left downtown and wanted to move to North Bend, well, I had a car at the time for sleeping in my car, and sweets. And we just played I played wherever I could find me a spot really. We was going to try and detox and get clean. So we went to Eastern went to one answer to a buddy of mines house over there. But that didn't work out. We both couldn't tough it out. And so I was driving back. And that's where I ran into I slid into the side of a semi truck and peel to the side of my car like a tin can. And slouched into my car. And so it was it was on foot then, basically. And so we toured around Seattle, Capitol Hill really was my main spot, you sleep right in front of Seattle Academy. Right underneath the little overhang up there, just in just a few things and your guitar. Just few things on my guitar.

Rex Hohlbein 22:48

Tell me. Tell me a bit about busking. Would you like Like, like, what is that experience? Like?

Doc 22:54

It's pretty fun. Because you get to interact with the people, you know, and you and you sit and you sit and you be able to people watch to see all kinds of strange things, strange happenings going on. You know, especially especially in the downtown area.

Rex Hohlbein 23:06

Yeah. Cuz you're staying in one spot. Right. So the world's walking by Yeah. Right. And what about what about the interactions? I mean, I'm sure you're a very likable human being. Yeah. Did did you have predominantly good interactions, or were people also difficult? I've

Doc 23:24

had predominantly good interactions, but there's some difficult folks as well. You know, a lot of hecklers. I'm musician and entertainer, so I could be playing a song and I noticed somebody might be dancing in the crowd or something like that. So I'll jump up from behind my guitar kids go dance with them and stuff like that. You know?

Rex Hohlbein 23:39

It's awesome. did was it profitable? I mean, you spent a day busking what would you come away with some days

Doc 23:47

were profitable others others were just barely scraping by sneeze some days I make at least 20 or something like that and other days I might make a couple $100 is all depend on the time of the week in the weather.

Speaker 2 24:31

Heaven ways things are okay. Just because it's a brand new

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detail you

Speaker 3 24:41

you will get your entire

Speaker 3 24:49

room open No. Bring in all my years law rules The banana cloud you know I'm just trying to keep from gran gran had bad go to worried about him but I know he can't keep rain in his book broke down and then that's it himself

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yes Lord

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always been

Unknown Speaker 25:38

you know the sunshine rain you see

Unknown Speaker 25:43

your suit you've

Speaker 3 25:47

got to go through this thing called misery

Unknown Speaker 26:11

Yeah,

Rex Hohlbein 26:12

that's beautiful

Doc 26:14

back memory. Yeah. Because you know that song was written, you know, like the first version of people walking by the highfalutin ways, a lot of folks they'd walk by me with it seemed like they had a nose and they're like, they look better than me, just because I might have been homeless, they might have had a place to go, you know, even some homeless folks looked at me, like sideways. Because you know, the way I dress my mannerisms or things like that, I never let really never really let any of that go. I never let the streets consume me. Like it has some other people. Because some folks, they, they, they get out there and they feel like okay, all is lost. So I'm just gonna lose it all. Whereas somewhere in my unconscious conscious mind, I knew that there was still something there for me. Even though I thought I lost it all, when reality I hadn't lost anything at all, it's just a matter I just lost my my way for a little bit. But there but but some time where I just knew I was gonna get back, I didn't know it for sure. But I just knew it, you know, and then the song goes on to her laughter in the crowd and just keep on crying, that's what I would do is I would just make jokes and try to keep myself upbeat a lot of times just to keep from crying. Because I was just so heartbroken and looking back and seeing how bad I hurt my family and I didn't know how to make amends and get back to him. And when it was simple, and as simple as simple, simple things do is just give up, give up the streets, basically, you know, in turn my life back to what it was and but at it on a grander scheme of things. And so and that and realizing that you don't even realize that I realized that that even though I was going through what I was going through things just gonna get better. You know, life can always be sunshine and rainbows, you see that that's it's just like I says Everything can't be all happy and rosy and sweet. There's going to be some downtimes. But there's going to be some sunshine after the rain. And we have to ask them in our lives to appreciate that sunshine, whether it's whether it's going through a hard time in life where you are, or you might lose a loved one or something like that, you know, to realize that, okay, they're gone. But with what they, what they what they have instilled in me what they have taught me is just going to make that sunshine that much more brighter.

Rex Hohlbein 28:31

Do you think that that path that you ended up taking going to drugs becoming homeless? Do you think that was? You know, in hindsight, that was an important part of your journey yet? Like, I don't want to say it was meant to be but but it certainly informed who you are today,

Doc 28:48

right? Yeah, it definitely did. Because one thing I learned is that you have to go through you have to go through to get through to understand through and through is that is that just that terrible time in your life? You have to go through some things in order to understand and understand those things in order to get over those things.

Rex Hohlbein 29:03

How do you write these songs? Like you you're talking about them coming from street experience, right? Your life experience, but does it come in a moment? Or do you do you have a part of it and then you and you piece it together over time? What What's the process for you both sometimes

Doc 29:19

I have to sit down and just write the whole song out. It's just falling like rain from the sky. And other times it takes some time for it to really develop. You know, I might read a verse today and then three months later, I might put another verse to it. You know, I might come up with a title and that's all it is for a couple years and then I then I write the song. What

Rex Hohlbein 29:37

what do you want people to know? Listening to your songs like what like it feels being that these are from experiences, their messages do write to people like Are you are you purposefully? Here's the right way to ask it. Are you writing them to get them out of yourself and and it's part of your process or is it intentional to for people To know, things

Speaker 4 30:00

that they should know about about lights from your perspective, probably

Doc 30:04

a little of both. And I say that because it's hard for you to really understand what people are going through or with with, sometimes it's hard to understand what you're going through. Because you don't because you don't know exactly, it's your it's your first it's your first experience with it. So you don't know what's really going on, you don't know how to deal with it. And what I've learned is if you hear from somebody else who's going through similar or the same experiences, then you might learn a little bit something from that. And you're able to say, Okay, this I can overcome this situation. This is how I how I can stay away from the situation,

Rex Hohlbein 30:35

what would be your message to people that are that are on the edge of homelessness or struggling through it? What would you say to them based on the fact that you've gone through it and you've come back out of it, and and you're an artist, you have a message that you're sharing what

Doc 30:50

just remember that even though you feel like all is lost, all isn't lost, there's somebody there who loves you and cares for you. And that's what I feel like a lot of this is boils down to is that a lot of folks just don't feel loved anymore. They feel like all this lost their families thrown in both hands and walked away from them. But if you look at you look at look at the situation and see what would you have done, then you might be able to see that if I change this then okay, this things can get better.

Rex Hohlbein 31:22

Have you been writing since you're back in Iran back inside now?

Doc 31:26

A little bit? Yeah, you have been writing and also a drummer homelessness, I had a lot more downtime to I think that's the reason why I was writing so much as well. But now that I'm back indoors, I you know, got my job now and everything's like that. So so so finding time to write and rest is is a balance, that's kind of a hard thing to do, to juggle is to juggle,

Rex Hohlbein 31:47

tell me, you've gone through homelessness, you became a songwriter through it, maybe maybe it's that period has given you more purpose with regards to your music, where, where are you now

Doc 32:01

in the process of putting the band together, trying to get back out there on the road, so to speak, and just doing a tour, like I used to, you know, just having a good old time. You know, but with with with a lot more knowledge of how to deal with certain situations.

Rex Hohlbein 32:19

I know the journey was a painful one. I want to come back a little bit because you've shared this before, but when you did fall into drugs and ultimately homelessness, it was tough on your mom. Yes. Definitely.

Doc 32:29

Tough on my mom. Yeah. Me and my mom, we were we're we're still rotate. But we but our connection had disconnected there for a little while. And because of because of because of my drug addiction and stuff like that. I mean, it got so bad until she said to me, she's I love you, but I have to let you go. And that's a hard thing for me. You know, because just for my mother to say that to me. Yeah, after we had we were so close. You know, I thought I don't care what it was, you know, if it was, as long as it wasn't nothing illegal. If I called her and asked her about her for she do her best to to fill it fill my knee. I know family

Rex Hohlbein 33:07

is really important to you. And and you know, that must have been a tough time for both of you then to go through that. How is she now?

Doc 33:17

Oh, she she she's ecstatic. She's she's happy camper. Yeah, and you guys talk all the time. When we talk. We talk all the time. We talk a lot it's a couple of times a week. Yeah. This is one song that kept that has always kept me going. presses Lord, and it's done this because lack of trust and child we can each can look up with eyes of faith and clasp the hands of our Heavenly Father. He says in Isaiah 4113 Fear not I will help you I the LORD your God will hold your right hand saying to you fear not I will help you. There you'll find Tinder compassion constellation love wonderful piece of friend to the end and you can find all this and more outstretched hands of the Lord. You know so when life looks like is got the best to me and things get rough. You know I just kind of look up and I just play this song right here

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Rachel's low

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Amy Oh live

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we know

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stone through

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versus lowly

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we need to

Unknown Speaker 35:25

me

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use me the

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weird way grow

Speaker 5 35:43

brochures no please won't you heard me

Unknown Speaker 35:54

say laughing

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almost

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hear my cry

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here man

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oh man hey this for

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me

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pressure's low

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for the

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day D

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D

Unknown Speaker 36:58

is long long river

Unknown Speaker 37:06

Do you know us God

Unknown Speaker 37:12

Oh much from the middle Hey bridges low

Unknown Speaker 37:20

and me Jews me

Unknown Speaker 37:39

you need me

Rex Hohlbein 37:49

here's another thought I don't know how to ask the question but like, it's a recurring thing when I'm with you, that always comes up in different forms, but it goes something like this that, like I'm I'm just I'm just amazed by your talent and, and that calm, beautiful way that you go through life with. And yet you're this guy for years was also living in a tent along the railroad tracks or the canal homeless. And, and it makes me wonder like about how many lives are being missed? Like, you know, people. It's the name of this show, right? Like, you know me now like how many people are not known or yet unbelievably beautiful people? I guess I guess one question would be, you know, did you experience that on the street? Did you were you were you also amazed by the caliber of just uniqueness of person that you were meeting? Yeah,

Doc 38:46

there's, there's some people that that kind of shocked me. There's one guy, I can't remember his name now from Capitol Hill. And he's mumbling to herself all the time. And folks are laughing but laugh at him and stuff like that. And, and I kind of would I kind of want to sometimes that cuff on what he was talking about was funny to me, you know, but but there was one day I had, I caught him when he's by itself. And we started talking about come to find out that he had a doctorate you know, and he was doing some some big wig or something like that. And I guess he just he's got on drugs, and it just fried his brain, you know, but yet he was still have that intellectual process about him the way you would deal with things. He taught him the way he would talk and stuff. But it would just sound like a ramble or a bunch of just junk if you weren't really paying attention to him. But he really sat down and listen to what he was saying. He was really saying something. Yeah,

Rex Hohlbein 39:33

I think that I think that's available from every person. I mean, not not everybody's gonna have their PhD right. But I do think that's part of humanity, right? Like we all have our story. We all have to work, right. So why is it so important that we hear each other stories? About a year ago? I got to know a young woman by the name of Arcadia. She was 19 years old, living in To attend in Woodland Park, and really struggling, after hanging out with her a number of times, she shared this beautiful insight, she said, each person is born with a tiny slice of the giant map of humanity. And all we know, is this piece of the map. But when we meet someone and get to know them, you get to see their slice of the map to the more people you meet in life, the more areas of the map you learn about, and because of it, the greater your understanding is of humanity, and ultimately, of yourself. What Does god mean to you? Why is God so important to you?

Doc 40:43

He's one that gives me my health and strength, the one that is also my motivation, you know, because I want to make it all make me want to make it to heaven to see him on these days, you know? Because I know if it wasn't for God, I wouldn't have I wouldn't have this talent. I wouldn't have made it out of my drug addiction, I wouldn't make that homelessness. Now, he's a big part of that. This is one called changes. was talking about my experience from that caused me to give up the streets and change my life around. I had a I had a dream one night that I went to heaven. And St. Peter's at the gate and didn't look too happy to see me when he just kind of pointed inside when I walked through the Pearly Gates who began and started to rain. And that was a strange thing for me, because he always talks about heaven was this happy and joyous place the sun was shining all the time. But it was raining. And I walked down as I was walking down the streets. And I came upon his partially built mansion, you know, and that stack a lumberyard and it's another big stack of twigs in the yard. And everybody was gathered around around the front porch and looking at somebody sitting on the front porch and a lot of smiles talking to him. And they couldn't, I couldn't see who it was at first. But there's just like the Ricci product, the salted crowd, and I seen it was Jesus sitting there and he had lamb life open. And he looks at me, he says, Come here, my child. I go up and I go to talk to him and he stops from before I could say anything. And he he began he began he began to cry, you see? And that and that kind of definitely another strange thing to me that made me say okay, what was going on? And I haven't looked down he had the last book life and he had over opens my chapter and he said this is where you were, this is where you are and this route told you to be and I'm tired of going through changes with you. And that's how I wrote it and that's when I wrote this song

Speaker 5 42:50

look where you are. Is not where you should be. You should be playing yo you preach about moving through je je with me says I'm going through J if he had to talk with me, no he had with you. Wherever you

Speaker 3 43:25

go with the changes with you SATs

Speaker 5 43:34

changing Well, it's gonna rain. It's gonna rain the world and God showed rainbows, the water the changing with

Unknown Speaker 44:06

the changing

Doc 44:12

year. And after that conversation was further submitted that for me was a few nights later. I had another dream that me God, Dell, we all sit around a conference table. We had a meeting. And God looks at me says I had excel at odd the night before. And he says to me he says if this if you do this again talking about folding again and die. He's not gonna he's not he's almost telling you I'm sending you to hell. And when I woke up, that made me change my life around. God is throwing his hands up with me. That means everybody else don't definitely throw the hands of me so I'd have to make a change. And that's when I made that change.

Rex Hohlbein 44:51

God is a central part of preacher strength and a defining force in his life path. So is his family Why is family so important to you?

Doc 45:02

Because they're Murat they're the ones that helped helped me keep going. Because it gives me something to look forward to something to give me an uplift. Like, is it something to look forward to? So I'm gonna keep me going? Because I feel like if I don't have my family blob, what's the point living? With? What is there? What am I living for? What am I? What is my existence? What is what does it mean? And it'd be really, it'd be more of an existence and not and not living. And there's a difference there because we just exist and you just stagnant basically in life just going with the same old, same old every day, day in and day out type thing. But if you live in, you have some type of enjoyment or some type of excitement in your life, that that's the reason for your, for your existence.

Rex Hohlbein 45:40

You and I find amazing is that you also maybe talk a little bit about this if you could, you've, you've married those two, right, like your church is made up of your family too. Yeah,

Doc 45:53

basically, yeah. There's four generations that was that have come through the church who have been at the church all at one time. Just what it is.

Rex Hohlbein 46:01

It's like God is family. Right? How about influences as far as music? Who are the who are the musicians that you that have influenced you that when you listen to their music, they get you excited? They pull you in? Muddy

Doc 46:15

Waters, Howlin Wolf, Little Walter, Big Mama Thornton, Nina Simone, Ray, Charles James Brown, it spans the spectrum.

Rex Hohlbein 46:24

It's a big list.

Doc 46:25

It's a big list. Big list, but those are some of the top ones that are up there. And John Lee Hooker too. He's one of my big inspirations to ask patterns Who am I playing styles off him? You know? He is definitely one

Rex Hohlbein 46:40

who would you who would you sit down and have dinner with? Ooh, let's talk and talk music that's

Doc 46:45

only choose one that's a tough one. Sorry. That's a tough one. I don't know that's a good question. I had to really think about that when that'd be a tough decision if I had to just pick one I didn't break the rules and still a party and invite everybody to talk to all of you to talk to all of you remember all the words of the song was called a missing you I wrote them I locked up in jail. Me and Aaron were to get the time and I was kind of missing the little fella but uh yeah

Unknown Speaker 47:54

you are

Unknown Speaker 47:57

everything you worried me ma ms you

Speaker 3 48:26

you must already

Unknown Speaker 48:37

see you soon

Unknown Speaker 48:49

bye

Unknown Speaker 48:57

gonna call

Unknown Speaker 49:07

your mom Oh

Unknown Speaker 49:18

minute

Rex Hohlbein 49:43

are you allowed a guitar and I have no idea what goes on in jail your louder guitar? No. So you just wrote the lyrics and then wrote the lyrics. I could have had the music in my head. And then when you got out pick up a guitar and you threw the herder for the first time yourself right. Wow. This being in JL make you though not want to go back? Yeah,

Doc 50:03

you don't want to be told when to eat, when to sleep when they want to take a shower, and everything else like that, you know, your life is ruled by it by the clock. It's a, it's not a good place to be. But it can't be a good place to be. And I say that because you've run into all kinds of people when you're in there that can teach you some things about about life, you know, and something and show you some errors of your ways, whether you realize that they're errors or not, because they share their story with you. And just wait a minute, that sounds about like, like me, you know? And but they talk about all the heck that they went through in that situation. And you are okay. I'm not going to do I'm not going through all that. It's not gonna help you change your mind help you change your ways as well. You spend a lot of time in your sale. So you got a lot of time reflect.

Rex Hohlbein 50:54

Yeah, you see, you don't want to wouldn't want to go back. But you did. Yeah, I did. How is that?

Doc 51:02

How did I go back?

Rex Hohlbein 51:03

No, I mean, how did you get you leave? Let's say you're in jail the first time and you say, I don't want to do that again. Right. But then you find yourself there again?

Doc 51:12

Well, you find yourself their lack of my situation I was on DLC, and which department corrections I was underneath their rule, because I had got into some trouble. And instead on state law going to prison, they put me on this program, where I had to check in for a whole year and is that another, but I wasn't checking in like I was supposed to check in. So that's why I kept going back at time after time. So your violation of parole, right. So it took me six, maybe seven years to do one year. But there's some guys that I've talked to when I was in there that there was like their 59th violation, and even had been on the run for 12 years. And suddenly, finally, and they're still working on that same one year, but here it is. 12 years later, they're still not done with it.

Rex Hohlbein 51:51

That seems so basically, a warrant gets issued, right? And so anytime you cross the law, they check you and the oh wait, man, you got a warrant, we got to take you in. You're right. And you're back in jail. You right.

Doc 52:03

And it's not a warrant that they can just say they can just say okay, go take care of it later, you know, because the felony felony, is this something that they have to you have this immediate go to jail, do not pass go do not collect? $100?

Rex Hohlbein 52:15

Yeah, it seems like, like, if you're if the idea is to rehabilitate and really get people to move on in society, that relationship where people are failing parole all the time, and getting sent back in with ever increasing numbers of warrants seems messed up. I mean, it sounds like from what you're saying is you run into a lot of people who are back in jail, not because they committed another crime, but because they violated their protocol,

Doc 52:41

right? As tall system seemed like a setup for failure, because they know especially with, with those who are addicts and stuff like that, they're no good in this world, that that their habit is going to come first before it before thinking about going to jail. You know, think about trying to check in because it's going to take a urine test, you know, so they're like, Okay, well forget that noise. So don't get locked up. So you're gonna keep running as fast and hard as they can. So yeah, I believe it's a waste of taxpayers money to lock up, folks, I think the money should be spent on rehabilitation. That's where I think people should be sentenced to rehab clinic instead of the jail. The jail isn't rehab, because you can get just time jail count on the streets, instead of putting them in jail. Because doesn't gotta do nothing. It really it Mike, it's more of a slap on the wrist and anything, but I think if you're honestly gonna help somebody, get them rehabilitated, give them housing, or show them how to get housing, you know, make welcome classes or whatever you have to do. But let the end result be something positive. Because right now, the end result is something negative in my opinion, which is jail.

Rex Hohlbein 53:41

preacher is the man that cares greatly about how he presents himself to the world, both in appearance and by His Word. He's one of the sharpest dressed individuals I honestly have ever met. To see him come out of a tent with the dusty ground and brambling blackberry bushes everywhere. Wearing a light blue three piece suit with matching shoes and fedora. And guitar in hand is quite the scene. In fact, it makes me smile, just sharing it with you. Preacher also always carries with him a diary, a place for his thoughts, new song lyrics or new poems. I remember one time visiting when they were living down along the railroad tracks in the inner Bay neighborhood. And as I was leaving, preacher yelled out, Hey, wait, I need to read you this poem. I remember how much it moved me. Watching him stand there, hearing His beauty in the midst of an industrial backyard. That was his home.

Doc 54:43

Let's see. This one is called a mother's joy. And he says I my mother's only boy. When I was young that made her proud and brought her much joy. As I grew I knew what I was supposed to do. I preached and preached and prayed in the church. Always, always play. Nobody including me ever dream I stray like the prodigal son one day I decided I was grown and left home. They see the world swallow John on the deep blue sea. I felt like that scene will will swallow me as a wandering room from place to place door to door corner to corner. I felt like I belonged in this worldly space, drinking gambling and let's not forget drug and all night long, I was living in a fool's paradise. It's truly an awesome wonder I did. Over time living the life I live created a hole where the money goes. Yes, sadly, that is because of life. I chose climbing walls while sitting in a chair just just to lock my heart like an icy Frigidaire. Why? Why not? I keep my feelings there. It's a shame. Every time I tried to ease the pain and lose two chains of stress and strain on my troubled brain. It was like 1000 railroad trains racing down the track toward my heart through my vein and who Lord around my brain. By by happiness fortune, fame life love family. Damn, I don't know how much more I can stand to lose. Well, they say that well swallow Jonah. That's why I have these blues. If for no other reason than the fact life gives from the way we live because life has lived through the choices we make. More times and often. We make mistakes like the hole where the money goes and the life of hell I chose losing sight of the losing sight of the things I was taught as a boy and forgetting I am my mother's joy. I've learned we are like children paint on canvases picking up shades as we grow. We start off blank with great enthusiasm our paint the color that makes us who we are brushed on by people we know if you or I had a choice of colors would you take some greens with your blue? Choose wisely and watch your technique as you go because life can be gone in a few knowing what I know now having seen having seen and felt the depth of pain and misery life's storm life storms can bring there's only one left there's only one thing left to straighten up and fly right let down my resistance stopped the fight that's right I'm tired of fat and frog for snakes that's it I quit I'm moving on tell them all I'm going home no more out in this cold lonely world shall I roam back to the place where I'll be safe and warm plenty good foods eat no longer do I or ever really needed to beg borrow steal for a place to sleep no more acting out I'm going back not only because I'm my mom was only boy but I know it'll bring my mother joy

Unknown Speaker 57:38

I have not come here

Unknown Speaker 57:42

to give

Unknown Speaker 57:48

Bo Bad News for June and he

Unknown Speaker 57:57

is not macro

Unknown Speaker 58:01

macro do

Unknown Speaker 58:11

you say you gotta worry troubles Oh in your home. Sometimes you cane Hill Whoa, we

Unknown Speaker 58:30

have you gone down?

Speaker 5 58:33

Lift your burdens, is nodule natural pros to

Rex Hohlbein 58:45

know, when you reach out to just say hello to a stranger. That might be all it is. Or perhaps you'll find a new friendship, one that will enrich your life. I'm so very grateful that preacher has shared his slice of the map of humanity with all of you. If you want to hear more of preachers music, please visit artists spotlight on the eunomia now webpage. If your move to do so, you can support preacher with a one time or recurring donation directly to his Venmo account, which is listed there. For those of you that have yet to hear about artists spotlight and might be asking what is it? Tomas and I are producing shorter video based episodes that feature Seattle area street musicians, buskers artists, poets and creative folks who live or have lived on our streets. We want to put a spotlight on their creativity and talent to help bring attention to their gifts and contributions to the rich tapestry of our community. We also hope that will provide an opportunity of support for those artists.

Speaker 5 59:58

There's nothing Oh Again just trust in Jesus. He will see us through growth is not gross you bear alone

Rex Hohlbein 1:00:28

you know me now is produced, written and edited by Tomas Vernadsky. And me Rex Holbein. We would like to give a heartfelt thanks to our good friend, preacher for taking the time to speak with us and share his beautiful life thoughts. You know me now has a Facebook and Instagram page where you can join in on the conversation. We also have a website at you know me now.com Where you can see photos of preacher. We also have stories there of other folks we feel you should get to know. Thanks as always for listening