Something I would like to share.
June 30th 2021 - By Rex Hohlbein
My name is Rex Hohlbein. I am 63 years old and have lived my entire life in Seattle. Give me 67 degrees, drizzle, a walk in the woods with my wife Cyn, and I'm a happy little camper!
Since 2010 I have had the opportunity of meeting and spending time with folks living without homes in Seattle. In the beginning I was just-saying-hello. Those greetings turned to conversations which turned to friendships which ultimately altered the course of my life.
Five months into this journey of meeting people living outside I told my wife Cyn I wanted to live for one month at Tent City 3, a homeless encampment of about 100 people. I needed to understand more about the struggle for those living without their basic needs being met.
From that month’s experience and meeting others living homeless out front of my architecture office along the ship canal in the Fremont neighborhood I began a photo-journal project on Facebook titled ‘Facing Homelessness’. I felt compelled to share the beauty I was seeing in people living outside. I reasoned that if we all could look past the overwhelming issue of homelessness, to just see the actual person experiencing it, perhaps together we could find the necessary solutions to address the suffering.
I soon learned there were many people that felt as I did. We were all carrying this weight of sadness for those suffering and wanted to do something about it. The FB page grew to 54,000 followers and every post made asking for something for those in need was met, often abundantly met! A compassionate community formed.
Rex Hohlbein in 1969 and 2019 - Right side Credit: © So-Min Kang Photography
“I believed, and still believe, that the community issue of homelessness is a proximity problem. We simply are not close enough to know each other.”
Through conversations and new friendships I learned how destructive the dehumanization of the negative stereotype is for everyone, for those living outside and inside. I found that people outside were simply trying to survive, living day to day without basic needs being met. It was clear that we had it wrong - rather than push a divide between us, we needed to come closer.
I closed my architectural practice and began the nonprofit Facing Homelessness. I believed, and still believe, that the community issue of homelessness is a proximity problem. We simply are not close enough to know each other. We have created ‘the other’ in the homeless, allowing us to simply walk past those suffering on our streets. From this we began our "Just Say Hello" campaign asking everyone in Seattle to begin by acknowledging the person suffering.
At the base of every story I heard was some form of trauma. They were not there because of who they are but rather because of what had happened to them. Trauma had sent them down a path of homelessness. It became evident that nobody chooses to be homeless. Nobody. Homelessness pure and simple is suffering and nobody willingly chooses that.
Each of us in every moment acts on what we think is the best choice possible to move forward. We do this over and over again throughout our life. For some of us, we are presented with unlimited choices and our life moves forward. For others the available choices are slim to none. If you ask a young man on the street if he chooses to be homeless he might answer, “Yes, I chose to be living outside.” Further into the conversation you learn he doesn’t see his father anymore because he was beaten by him his entire childhood. At 16 years old he ran away. Choosing homelessness when homelessness is the best or only option is not a choice. Nobody chooses homelessness.
Rex and Michael in 2018 - Credit: Tomasz Biernacki
“We must find the courage to trust and share our own story, our own vulnerability. Through all of this we search for each other’s beauty. The more we value each other the more we care for each other. It’s not rocket-science, it’s that simple.”
So how do we address the societal crisis of homelessness?
We begin by understanding that the homelessness crisis is a condition of our larger community crisis. When we say ‘homelessness crisis’ we point our finger at those people over there. When we say ‘community crisis’ we include ourselves. With this awareness we see ourselves as part of the problem and understand that we must also be a part of the solution.
The answer to addressing the suffering of homelessness requires each of us to find our place in it. The answer to addressing racism requires each of us to find our place in it. The answer to addressing sexism, ableism, classism, heterosexism and all the other forms of oppression requires each of us to find our place in it.
We do this by coming closer.
And then listening. We all have different perspectives that are based on our very different life experiences. We need to know that everyone’s point of view is their truth and therefore worthy of being listened to, valued, and learned from.
We must find the courage to trust and share our own story, our own vulnerability. Through all of this we search for each other’s beauty. The more we value each other the more we care for each other. It’s not rocket-science, it’s that simple.
When we are across the street from someone who is struggling, or different from us, or that we don’t know, our brains fill us with intellectual information. When we take the time to cross the street and come closer, close enough to listen and feel, our hearts fill us with emotional information. We need both to move forward. This is the beginning of finding our place in it.
The community conversation ‘You Know Me Now’ is a place to come closer. A place to listen to each other respectfully without judgement. A place for understanding and growing. A place for loving and being in community.
Rex doing outreach in 2019 - Credit: © So-Min Kang Photography
“We all have something to offer and we all have something to receive in this journey. We won’t find out what that is unless we come closer and begin the conversation.”
In this first post I’ve shared some of my own feelings around homelessness. I’ve never been homeless so there’s a very good chance I’ve got some of it wrong. That’s okay because together through conversation we will move it forward. That’s the whole point, for us to move it forward together. I am hoping for a beautiful respectful exchange of thoughts and feelings around the issue of homelessness in the comments below. I know we can do this.
Future posts on this page will feature people in the community who have been interviewed around a topic they want to share in conversation with you. They are specifically looking for a genuine back and forth to engage the community. If you feel yourself being challenged by what is being shared, I would quietly and respectfully ask that you learn more by first listening more. Let’s use questions to increase understanding and connection. Then let's all get to know each other and how we feel about the issues surrounding us.
We all have something to offer and we all have something to receive in this journey. We won’t find out what that is unless we come closer and begin the conversation.
Thank you for letting me go on this journey with you. LOVE.
Rex and Michael in 2018 - Credit: © So-Min Kang Photography
The story does not end here! Join the conversation on the YKMN Facebook page