I'm not less than you

Tiffany was born here in Seattle, growing up in the West Seattle neighborhood. On the left is a picture of her when she was 7 years old, the other a current photo at 32. Tiffany is an amazing person. She smiles and laughs freely. She’s one of those people that you would say is easy-to-talk-to, easy-to-like, and would make a good friend. 

From these two photos you could imagine any number of life scenarios having unfolded for Tiffany. Perhaps she graduated from Seattle University with a Masters in Psychology and already has her own practice. With early success she and her partner purchased a home on Queen Anne with a view looking out to the Olympics. Another scenario could be that Tiffany became homeless shortly after graduating from High School. From that time forward she spent the years trying to survive with nothing to her name.

These are radically different paths. One a story of success, the other of struggle. For all of our lives, a thin line separates those realities. 

 Do we view Tiffany differently depending on which scenario she is living? 

 Would it matter if her success had been earned or handed to her on a platter? Or if the struggles were her own doing or outside of her control? What information do we collect when forming opinions of others?

 Tiffany is homeless. She will tell you, “When growing up I felt lower-class. Being bullied and judged have been a part of my entire life.” In a voice she uses when sticking up for herself, she says, “Just because I have less than you doesn’t mean that I am less than you.”

I first met Tiffany when we were both living at Tent City 3 (TC3), a self-managed community organized under the non-profit SHARE/WHEEL. TC3 was legally sanctioned under a “Consent Decree” given by the Superior Court of the State of Washington for King County in 2002.

 Tiffany began living there in 2011. She was 22 years old. I lived there for the month of February in 2012. I was 54 years old. We had very different reasons for being there. Mine was simple. I wanted to come closer to gain some understanding of those experiencing homelessness. Tiffany's was much more complex. She was trying to survive.

Walking into camp for the first time is intimidating, at least it was for me. Imagine enough tents for 100 people with a perimeter fence encircling it. At the one entrance is a security desk tucked under a tent open on the front side. When you enter, the person at the desk immediately asks in a kindly but authoritative voice, “Can I help you?” I suddenly felt out of place. 

One of the conditions of my stay was that I would be bound by all the same rules and chores as the other residents. I took a deep breath. When I was taken to the community men’s tent and saw that the beds were upside down milk crates pushed together with cardboard over top and thin blankets available for covering you, I took a deeper breath.

During my month’s time I met most of the 100 folks living there. A good many became friends. Some became dear friends. TIffany was one of them.

Tiffany’s dad left before she was born. The relationship with her mom was a struggle which may have in part been the reason for a very close relationship with her grandmother. After high-school graduation her grandmother died. Tiffany was crushed. She felt she had lost everything. She left home and began couch-surfing. When those welcome stays were worn out, she and friends rode buses at night for a place to sleep. At 19 years old she became pregnant and began living outside full-time.  

Between the ages of 19 and 32 Tiffany spent a good deal of time surviving and in her words, “trying to grow up”. She will tell you straight up, “It hasn’t been easy.” Her mother is raising her now 11 year old daughter and her ex-boyfriend, still friends, is raising their 5 year old son. “It breaks my heart to not be with them.” Her eyes-on-the-prize dream is to get things right and again have her children live with her.

While at TC 3 Tiffany rose up through the ranks to be on the Executive Committee (EC). As an EC she was an active role in the self managing community, helping create and enforce the rules that allowed 100 strangers, many under constant stress, to live together. During that time, one of the accomplishments she is most proud of are the many grants she and her friend Tony wrote and received, totalling somewhere around $200,000.00 for SHARE/WHEEL’s operations.  

Tiffany has full-time work at a restaurant specializing in salads downtown Seattle. It’s a job she held for nearly a year before the COVID shutdown. Eighteen months later she was rehired full time. It’s a job she loves and feels grateful for employment with so many still out of work. Ironically, with things back on track for her, she’s about to lose the current roof over her head. The friends she’s been staying with can no longer have her there as it will jeopardize their supported housing by violating the lease rules. With the Delta variant out there Tiffany is worried sick about going back into a shelter. 

 I have an ASK. Tiffany is looking for a place to live. She will take anything for any amount of time. An apartment, a room, a floor. She does not smoke, drink or do drugs. She wears a mask when with others indoors and is vaccinated. She can afford $500 up to $1,000.00 per month depending on the situation. If you think you can help, please call me. Rex 206-330-1142.

 There is a fine line that separates us from a life of material success and one of struggle. We are all vulnerable to the thinness of that line.